Wedding Jitters

What are wedding jitters? Like all things in life we ape from west, it is a western concept. But this concept, i feel doesnt make sense for the westerners. I remember a colleague of mine in USA getting married. She was all worked up, I never understood why. She knew the guy, they have been living together for the past five years, so what was the big deal. Wedding was just a tag, i felt. Unlike in India, where marriage is between two families, there it is pretty much between the guy and the gal, so why worry?

Coming to marriages in India, like I said it is between families. Whether it is a joint family or not, we are linking two families. Family obligations precede everything else, be it love marriage or arranged. Right from the wedding ceremony, both the parties have to be satisfied. Now, even the bride and groom get to have a say in the ceremony. When I got married, I wasnt consulted for any of the arrangements, save for the clothes and jewellery. Everything was taken care of by my parents and elders of the family.

Now, the bride and groom get to select the venue, decorations, videographers, caterers and even the band. All of which they dont even get a chance to look at. They hardly get to see the decorations, as they are a part of it; no food for the day, even when they do eat it is so late and they are so exhausted, they dont even realise what they are eating; and band, they will be concentrating so hard on what the priest is asking them to do to pay any attention to the band. No one knows.

Then comes the actual ceremony. Everyone has an opinion, there will be one elderly person in all weddings, saying this is not the way it is done. They wont be on the scene when arrangements are being made. They just crop up on the day of wedding and point a finger at everything. And the best part is everyone takes them seriously and try to change / cater for their suggestions/ demands. Who is this person and why are they taking over?

And after the ceremony, how much ever well prepared, there will be one thing that was overlooked and that takes utmost importance. This one thing will be talked about over and over in all the future meetings and no one will forget this one thing.

I remember my first experience with weddings, my friends' sister was getting married. We all pitched in and helped around with the preparations. Seeing all the hassle and not to mention the cost, I declared mine would be a simple registered marriage with no hoopla, followed by a reception later. Then aunty, tired with all the work, objected. According to her, the traditional wedding ceremony is not only the necessity as per traditions, but serves as a grand get-together for all the family members. How many would turn up for a reception, compared to a wedding? All the pomp and grandeur is aimed at bringing families together. And it is a platform to say thanks to all the people in our lives and for shaping our future. A way to strengthen your bond with family, far and near. Made sense. Our bonding with family is so important that we have all these rituals to keep them alive. Dont you agree