Some thirty years back, my friends' sister got married. We, in our mid-teens, participated very enthusiastically, right from the wedding preparations. This was time before cell phones, event managers, caterers etc.. So one had to visit each one of the service providers, right from cooks to tent-wallahs, pay advance, fix the dates, remind them etc. etc. In short, run around a lot. Seeing all this hassle, one of us declared, "I am getting my marriage registered, no hassles for me". Aunty looked at us and asked, "So you don't want your friends and relatives to see your wedding?". "I will throw a reception", came the prompt reply. Aunty, then, launched into a lecture of how weddings were an excuse for all the relatives and friends to meet and network. And how no one would take the trouble to attend an out-station reception, while for a wedding they would take the trouble. That though it involves a lot of hassle, how she was enjoying all the hustle and bustle.
Why talk about something that happened two decades ago, you ask? Well, recently I chanced to attend a wedding. After my marriage, we were in UK and USA for nearly a decade. So I missed all the weddings of my cousins' and friends'. Since our return we have attended mostly the wedding receptions of not-so-near relatives. So when a dear colleague of mine got engaged and she insisted I attend her wedding at Vizag, I thought why not. So we decided to make a holiday out of it and went to Vizag.
The wedding was in the night, and as usual there was a pre-wedding dinner which all their relatives and friends attended. Ideally, we too would have attended that dinner and left. But since I was there and had nothing better to do, I decided to attend the wedding too. I went to the marriage hall at night and was amazed. There were hardly 50 people attending. Immediate family members only. And no kids!!!! I bet the kids were watching TV or playing video games in the hotel rooms.
I remember the weddings of my uncles and aunts, where we cousins had so much fun. We never slept for the fear of missing out on not the wedding but a chance to play and have fun. And the fun we had, running around, playing all sorts of games with the flowers and decorations strewn on the floor. And then one of us would land into trouble and we would all be yelled at. That would keep us still for five or at most ten minutes and then we would be back, creating havoc.
There was no such thing happening now. The reception was the place were everyone came, blessed the couple, had sumptuous food and left. The floor was left for the bride and groom, with their parents and immediate family members. No kids running around, no laughter, no gossiping. The purohit didn't have to yell at anyone for making so much noise. The band was getting bored and started pelting their own tunes, no one to mind them. No mid-night coffee/tea or snacks. In short, no fun.
So, I remembered what Aunty had said and how true she was. Elaborate weddings are so much more fun. With the advent of reception culture, the main event has taken back-seat. Now, it is a glittery reception followed by a lackluster wedding. Even when the marriage is in the same city, no one wants to waste their precious sleep to attend the wedding. We either find excuse in distances, or hectic schedules or some such thing. The thing is we have become plain lazy and are not able to enjoy simple things in life, let alone the beauty of a marriage ceremony. I am equally guilty of this crime.
