This was written on the night of 2nd February 2022
I can't believe that the deep baritone "Amma Manjula" will no longer be summoning me. The imposing figure that guided the family is no more. Today, as I sit vigil at his death bed, I am going down memory lane.
My father in law, PPS Hariprasad, has been the guiding force for many. My relationship with him was one of mutual respect and understanding. He treated me like a daughter. On the second or third day after marriage, he was going to the airport early one morning to drop off his second son and wife. I was asked to accompany. Apparently, that was an honour rarely bestowed, especially on a "new acquaintance", the family was stunned. I remember the first time he visited us. We were newly married and living in Pune. I don't remember the details but there he was at our doorstep. I was new to cooking, hosting etc. and had prepared a modest meal. My husband in his usual style tried to prepare me by portraying the worst-case scenario. To his utter surprise and bewilderment, my father in law was totally bowled over by my cooking and courtesy. These two incidents first year into my marriage set the course for the future. We had our differences but then nothing unsurmountable. There have been occasions when my mother in law and my husband took advantage of my relationship with him to get a few things sorted.
He always drove me around whenever we came to Hyderabad for our annual vacations, later when we shifted to Hyderabad I was always invited to his lectures and felicitations. Then I became his technical advisor and towards the end his confidante. He, at one time, rued that I was too much under my husband's (his son's) influence and that it was affecting my style/independence.
I always admire and envy his zeal and ability to learn new things without any regard to his age - be it usage of computers, sundial installation, Vedic nuances and much more. Till the end, he was busy with some activity in the other.
I can't believe he won't be regaling us with anecdotes from his experiences and guiding us. The past few months had been tough. Seeing such an active and intellectual person go through the throes of dementia is brutal. He tried fighting for a while and then towards the last month, it felt like he just gave up. He kept telling us that its the worst suffering and that he might have done some heinous sin to deserve such an end.
I sincerely wish he found some peace now. For the family, it will take some time to get over his absence. We will miss him forever and ever.
