A news article caught my attention. Wife was seeking divorce from her husband of two months. Reason - he didnt update his FB status from single to married. Husband says he was busy with wedding, hence didnt get time to update the status. That reminded me of an ad on TV, a guy is getting married and his boss calls up on his mobile and wants to talk about work.
What do these two have in common, you ask. Well, to me both are depicting the ill-effects of technology in our lives. We welcome technology with the hope that it would improve our lives and make it easier for us. But it doesnt always work that way. With the advent of mobile phones, communication improved a lot. But at the same time, it has made us easily accessible. We can not take the call, but with mobiles you are obligated to return the call. No longer do we have the excuse of we didnt get the call or I didnt know it was you. Caller id has taken care of that. So if your boss calls you in the middle of the night you have to take it. The office gives you a laptop and blackberry, you are happy, company is taking good care of you. Downside, you are on call 24x7, 365 days.
Now coming to the personal front. No privacy. I know there shouldnt be any secrets between husband and wife, but in reality it doesnt work that way. I dont want to tell my husband all that I share with my girlfriends. And I am happy not knowing few things from his end. We have a very healthy recipe, whether you agree or not. He doesnt peek into my cell, my sms, my emails and I dont either. You call your spouse and dont get any response, you jump to the wrong conclusions. You harass them to death about it. I think that borders on trust issue also. Why are we so insecure? Give your spouse some benefit of doubt. In this 21st century, we keep seeing co-ed groups. So the assumption that a girl and a guy cant be friends is outdated. Friendship is no longer gender-specific, even it has become blind like love. Deal with it and let the poor spouse of yours live peacefully.
What do these two have in common, you ask. Well, to me both are depicting the ill-effects of technology in our lives. We welcome technology with the hope that it would improve our lives and make it easier for us. But it doesnt always work that way. With the advent of mobile phones, communication improved a lot. But at the same time, it has made us easily accessible. We can not take the call, but with mobiles you are obligated to return the call. No longer do we have the excuse of we didnt get the call or I didnt know it was you. Caller id has taken care of that. So if your boss calls you in the middle of the night you have to take it. The office gives you a laptop and blackberry, you are happy, company is taking good care of you. Downside, you are on call 24x7, 365 days.
Now coming to the personal front. No privacy. I know there shouldnt be any secrets between husband and wife, but in reality it doesnt work that way. I dont want to tell my husband all that I share with my girlfriends. And I am happy not knowing few things from his end. We have a very healthy recipe, whether you agree or not. He doesnt peek into my cell, my sms, my emails and I dont either. You call your spouse and dont get any response, you jump to the wrong conclusions. You harass them to death about it. I think that borders on trust issue also. Why are we so insecure? Give your spouse some benefit of doubt. In this 21st century, we keep seeing co-ed groups. So the assumption that a girl and a guy cant be friends is outdated. Friendship is no longer gender-specific, even it has become blind like love. Deal with it and let the poor spouse of yours live peacefully.
True, technology has invaded our lives. But a lot depends on how you deal with it. The first two issues that you mentioned - updating fb status and receiving a call at the time of marriage, these are not technology-related issues, but more human problems. The cellphone is a boon in terms of communication. However, one needs to move out of the mindset of picking every single call. There is no obligation to receive official calls on personal time, unless one knows there is an emergency that is likely to occur. Moreover, if the issue is really important, the call will be followed by an sms.
ReplyDeleteWe have a tendency to pick every call irrespective of where we are. While talking to someone, if your phone rings, you can always choose to keep it in silent mode and return the call later. It is insulting to keep the person in front of you waiting, while you chat with the person on the phone, unless it is an emergency.
Trust issue - I have interesting experience. Once there was a delivery issue in office and my subordinate was discussing the same with me and time was past 9:00pm. During our 20-minute conversation, he received around 20 calls from his wife, out of which he answered atleast 12 saying he will call back. I don't know what was her problem. Similarly, once we attended a group dinner at 7:00 pm. Over the dinner, each guy received atleast one call from his wife asking where he was. This was a pre-planned event so I am sure they would have informed at home. Inspite of that, the wives call to check the whereabouts. Sometimes, when one guy does not pick up the call, the next guy receives a call from the first guy's wife checking on him. Why this insecurity??
Exactly, we should remember that technology is our slave and not the other way round. The entire thing boils down to insecurity and etiquette. Whether it is official calls or personal calls. In the former case, the feeling that ones' career depends upon their being available at all times. Personal calls again insecurity and instability, no one has time to spend on building relationships and that leads to insecurity. Calling to check the whereabouts of spouse is not restricted to wives, husbands too do it all the time.
DeleteEtiquette is lacking in most Indians, be it public behaviour, traffic sense or time sense. The so called finishing schools should include it in their curriculum, instead of concentrating on accent and diction. I remember going for a talk and the person delivering the lecture got a call on his mobile. I would have been embarrassed in his place but that guy not only did not apologise for the disturbance but he took the call!!!! Talking loudly over cell phones in public places, taking calls when in meetings have become passée and everyone seems to be accepting it as way of life.
Also I find most people don't know how to set their phones in silent mode.
Being senior citizen, I heave a sigh of nostalgia..oh, those golden days with no cell phones! After reaching home after a daylong absence, the couple used to have so much news to share! but we have to accept, cellphone is a boon in times of emergency. If only we knew how to gain the maximum benefit and minimum nuisance.
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