NRI Parents

Disclaimer: this blog is not intended to offend any person, it is just a statement of facts, so kindly forgive me if i offend any one.

The other day a lady from our building was complaining. Her son and family were coming from US and she was having tough time making arrangements for them. She was in her early 60s and is not as active as she used to be. There were many demands from her son and grandchildren which she was not able to say no to, and she was not able to manage. "We make all arrangements for their stay, which is 2-4 weeks, they see all the arrangements and think that we are doing great. They don't understand what we go through before and after their visit. They don't realise how much rest we need after they leave and how many medicines we pop during their visit. Even if we tell them they don't believe, they think that we are saying to  pressurise them into coming back." Another lady was pacifying her saying it is only once a year that we have to bear this, anyway since we cant travel and visit them, we have to compromise. Another lady was saying we go there every year but now are not able to make the trip, but since we have green card we have to, once we get citizenship we will not go every year, only when we are not able to manage here on our own. (for those who are wondering, we stay in apartment where NRI sons bought flats for their parents' comfortable stay).

All this talk set me wondering. What is the solution to this situation? When they are young, parents encourage their children to go abroad - be it for higher studies or better career options. They go around telling all my son is going to US!!! Then 20-30yrs down the line, parents get old and are ready for retirement but there is no place to go and relax. They do go to US, but most are not able to adjust to the atmosphere there and get bored. They return to India but are not able to manage on their own. Then starts the badgering, when are you coming back? Children are in a dilemma, cant leave the luxuries nor ignore the parents. Some tough kids tell their parents outright, either you come here or don't complain. They are branded as bad. Is it right to ask the children to leave all the luxuries and come back to take care of their parents? Or is it correct in wanting the senior citizens to compromise at this age and shift their roots to US? Given the fact that children are not able to adjust at their age, even after spending 20yrs in India, how can parents adjust in a foreign land?

One of the NRI son's has started his own business and has an office in India, so he keeps coming to India once a month on official business and visits his parents, everyone is happy with that arrangement.

Another solution many are adopting. Living under the care of their daughters. Our Indian mentality, we encourage son to go abroad or far-away places, but daughter we hesitate marrying her off to a guy in the neighbouring city. So come old age, many are having arrangements with their daughters. Staying near to where daughter stays and taken care of by her. Three cheers to caring daughters!!!