Mudumalai Trip

Our vacation this year led us to the land of tigers at Mudumalai Tiger Reserve in Tamil Nadu.

We started on a Sunday and flew down to Bangalore. After meeting relatives there went to Lalbagh gardens. Why Lalbagh? Why not Cubbon? Well, my parents have some black and white pictures of me at Lalbagh and somehow I was fascinated by the pictures of glass house there, and as my better half gave permission for only one park visit, it was Lalbagh. 

glass house at Lalbagh

It didn't disappoint me, it held the same fascination for me after all these years. Next we went to see UB city, an area developed by Vijaya Mallya, housing UB headquarters and many other offices and shops.





The thing that struck me most of Bangalore was its roads, they were pathetic. If you think roads in Hyderabad are bad, you should see them in Bangalore, it makes one wonder how people commute there. It was not just the traffic, which was heavy, the state of roads was bad with potholes and constructions (metro and flyovers) and what-not.

Next morning we started off for Mysore. On the way we visited the Tipu Sultan summer palace, remains of his fort, the place where he worshipped (legend has it that he didn't miss a single namaaz all his life) and the place where his body was found in Srirangapatnam.

Majestic Mysore Palace

Beautiful Brindavan

Next was Mysore palace, huge and magnificent.  Trip to Mysore would be incomplete without a visit to the famous Brindavan Gardens. Though we have lots of parks and gardens, to think that this was built some decades ago and still has not lost its charm or allure speaks volumes about the place. Next day we started to Mudumalai after visiting Chamundeshwari temple, huge Mahishasura, and equally majestic Nandi.

Deer Crossing

Our road to Mudumalai led us through Bandipur Tiger Reserve, where we had the first glimpse of wild life in the form of elephants crossing the road. After crossing the Karnataka-Tamil Nadu border we entered Mudumalai Tiger Reserve. We were greeted by deer.

Cottages at Masinagudi

We were booked at a resort in Masinagudi, which we reached by noon on Tuesday and were to stay there for three nights. The resort had around a dozen cottages of which we were the sole occupants. There were no TVs in the cottages and no phone connectivity, so for three days we were cut-off from the rest of the world. We ventured to go on a walk that evening, but were asked to return to the resort, by a gentleman might be forest official, as it was elephant roaming zone and hence dangerous. So we had no option but to relax. Next day morning we went trekking and had a beautiful view of the Nilgiris, they were blue! Evening we went on a safari and were greeted by a big bear, a rarity we were told. We also saw deer, sambhars (or nilgai?), wild boar, peacocks and many other beautiful birds. Thursday we decided to make a road trip to Ooty which was about 30km. On the way we saw Kalhatti falls (no water) and Bison valley (no bisons). It was our second trip to Ooty hence didn't go site-seeing, visited a tea factory had free sample of tea and roamed about in Botanical gardens and returned to the resort by evening.

Friday we had flight back to Hyderabad from Bangalore at 1:30pm. So started off early at 6am, drove down, stopped for breakfast and reached the outskirts of Bangalore well within time. Then started our woes. First it was a wrong turn to get onto the outer ring road, then after getting onto the ring road the car ran out of diesel. We came off the ring road on the wrong way to get diesel and then onto the ring road, lost half an hour there. Then the traffic, construction and a tense couple of hours later, we were running towards the Jet Airways terminal to be told that the counter for Hyd flight was closed. A bit of cajoling and pleading saved our day and finally got us on board.

Ram on Ram

Lately, Ram Jethmalani has been in news for saying that Lord Ram was not a good husband. It has hurt the sentiments of all Hindus who have raised hue and cry. Today's paper says "Seer offered Rs. 5 lakhs to whoever spits on Jethmalani for calling Ram a bad hubby" (don't ask me which Seer, I have no idea).

All this has set me thinking. I always had this doubt and it has reared its ugly head again. True, Lord Ram has been a obedient son, an ideal ruler and might be an ideal father. But what about his duty as an husband? Did he really fulfil it? They say he was an ideal husband because he didn't remarry but is that the only requirement of an ideal husband?

Naticharami or simply put "till death do us apart" is part of Hindu marriage ritual. Isn't the husband supposed to take care of his wife, come what may? He is supposed to forgive her short-comings and support and lead her on the righteous path. And in case of Sita, the short-coming was not hers to begin with.

A wife who followed you to your exile, stood on your side when you were facing hardships, is this how one repays her? A friend, who stands by you in tough times, gets a better treatment, shouldn't a wife be on-par if not above that treatment. Ok, since he was from royal family and had an obligation towards his family and kingdom, he made her take the "agnipariksha", before accepting after rescuing her from Ravana. Shouldn't that count? Why leave her in the forest, just because some of his subjects had doubts? As an husband, isn't he supposed to shut their mouths, not by abandoning her but by being on her side? So if he couldn't convince others, shouldn't he have rejected the crown and kingdom and left with Sita? It turns out he was just as power-hungry as the next guy!!!

I am not saying Ram was not great or anything, just that he was not that great a husband, if you ask me.

Power of Power cuts

This article has taken a long time to be written, even though power cuts have backed off, still is relevant, i feel.

With around 4hrs of scheduled and many more of unscheduled power cuts, I have learned to appreciate power cuts. You don't believe, well read on.

We have power cut in the morning from 6-8am. Our apartment complex does run a very noisy generator just below our master bedroom, we are on the first floor. Hence it acts as a wake up call. I have long since switched off my alarm. 

Next, since there is no power, it means no TV, of which my husband is a big addict!!!!! We are having our morning tea in peace (apart from the jarring generator noise) and are having a quite morning chat. It is heavenly.

One of my friend has power cuts from 8-10am. So she is forced not only to finish her household work by then but also her daily puja, since it becomes dark in her puja room. Bet her family members are happy that she is finishing puja in the morning before 8am!!!!

Another friend says, her daughter is helping around the house. With the power cuts, she gets bored, no TV, no PC, no video games. So she asks her mother to give her some work, so she wont get bored!!!!!

I bet the house maids all over are happy. Since no power means less work for them and especially if no one is in the house during the day-time, like ours, they have to complete the work in dark and they can get away with shoddy work, "it is too dark to see, amma"

With so many advantages, why crib over power cuts, have fun while it lasts!

Bhadrachalm Trip

Papikondalu

This had been a long overdue trip. I wanted to visit Papikondalu from a long time, and somehow we couldnt make it. For the uninitiated, Papikondalu is a stretch on river Godavari, through the eastern ghats. It is very famous for its scenic beauty. The trip starts and ends at Rajahmundry. There is a deviation for those interested to visit the temple city of Bhadrachalam, where Lord Rama, Sita and Lakshmana are said to have spent their 13th year of Vanavasam, and the place where Sita was abducted by Ravana.

We started from Hyd on Fri, 19th night, to Rjy by a special train from Hyd-Vishakhapatnam. Reached Rajahmundry next day morning, visited my uncle and aunt there and then went to Tanuku to visit our relatives. Had lunch and spent some fun time with kids there. 

Nursery at Kadiyam

From there we went to Kadiyam, which is famous for its plant nurseries and to meet our friends who came from Vijayawada by road. We visited one nursery which was huge and had many varieties of plants. I got tempted and bought a few, though I wasnt sure if they would survive Hyd weather. We came back to the hotel. 

Next day we started off from Rjy to Purushottapatnam to get onto the launch to Papikondalu. The trip on the river was very nice, beautiful sceneries. Breakfast and lunch were served on the boat itself. We saw Devipatnam Police Station (of Alluri SitaRamaraju fame) from the boat and had one stop to visit Gandi Pochamma Temple. 

Towing of boat

On the way our boat had some engine problem and was pushed for some time by another boat. Because of this we were behind schedule and skipped visiting temple at Perantapalli. We reached Perantapalli by 5pm to be transferred into a smaller boat to take us to Pochavaram. By the time we reached Pochavaram, it was pretty dark and from the boat drop to the vehicle was a mini-adventure.

Pochavaram

We were lucky that we didnt have to carry our luggage with us, it came by the vehicle from Rjy. From Pochavaram, we reached Bhadrachalam by road, had dinner and checked into the hotel. The hotel was right next to the temple.



 

Bhadrachalam Temple

Morning we were told to have darshan by 6am. We got ready and went for the darshan. That day there was some special puja and the temple doors didnt open till 7:30am. After darshanam we had breakfast and went to see Parnasala, place were Lord Rama, Sita and Lakshmana stayed during their 13th year of vanavasam. There were places where Sita was abducted, where Lakshmana cut off the nose and ears of Surpanakka, where Sita dried her sari and rubbed pasupu, kumkuma, etc etc.

Parnasala

 Started our return journey towards Vijayawada. On the way visited Madde Anjeneyaswamy temple at Jangareddy Gudem, where the idol is in a tree. 

Sundial at Dwaraka Tirumala

Next stop was Dwaraka Tirumala or Chinna Tirupati. I liked the place a lot, it was very serene and the temple was also very beautiful. Another attraction for us was father-in-law had installed a Sundial here. We spent sometime at that site and reached Vijayawada by 8pm. Took train at 11:30pm to Hyd and were back to our sweet home by 6am on Tuesday.

Value System

The other day me and my friends went to see the movie 'Cocktail'. I suggested it, since the review said it needs to be seen with closest friends and that it will help strengthen the bond. In the middle of the movie, one of my friends lamented "what are we doing here", that summarised the emotions of all of us. I am just hoping that suggesting the movie didnt put me on a blacklist, instead of bonding we would be un-bonding!

These days while watching a movie, I am not able to enjoy or connect with them. I used to think generation gap. But this movie went beyond that. It violates the value system which India stands for, I felt. It was loaded with pub culture, discotheques, live-in relationships. Is this what the youth of India is upto these days? Of course, the setting was London, hence might be people will say it is not in India. But a little digging around reveals that it is true of India too. It is a crime if a person in late-teens is not in a relationship. They should have already been in couple of relationships, actually. Aping the west has gone a step further. First it was food, then dress, then malls, and now this. Is it really necessary? The age when they are supposed to be focussing on their studies and career, they are into relationships, break-ups and what not. Where is the good old value system going?

I know I am going to get beaten up for saying this, but still.... First we expose ourselves, have fun and then lament when people talk loosely about us. We have always been taught that girls need to be extra careful, not because we don't trust girls but because we don't trust the boys. One cannot say that I will leave my house open and no one should rob it. Fine, locked houses get robbed too, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be careful. That is what is happening with our society these days. And if someone comments on how the way girls dress effects the ways guys react to it, it is wrong. An apology is demanded. What is wrong in that, I ask? The reason we ask girls to be careful is because they are more precious and valuable.

Progression of Age

My bother once commented, when we were young, that I should have been born in the Shakespearean era. I took it as a compliment. People used to say that my mother and me looked like sisters rather than mother and daughter. At that time I didnt think too much about it. Now I wonder whether it was a compliment to my mom's looks or criticism to my appearance. Once a girl called me Aunty at Bombay airport, this was some 10 years ago. Though my husband was amused, I brushed it aside saying it was the married-tag. When we are younger, we tend to take everything at face value. But as we grow older we look for deeper meanings in everything and become more sensitive. Age has never been an issue with me, in the sense I never tried camouflaging it. My friend tried for an year to convince me to colour my hair, and I had been resisting. Always in my peer group, I stood out as looking younger than them, people would always guessed my age five years lesser.

So why these thoughts now, you ask. Well, now that I have decided to do my PhD, I have been interacting with younger crowd. I am used to it since my teaching days, but not as a fellow student. So these students are not sure what to call me and stick to ma'am. I am not complaining there. During admissions time, when I visit the institute, parents assume I am a professor and seek counselling for their wards. I am not against that, either. What set me thinking, was a conversation I had with a fellow student recently. He is in the final year of his MS. He was talking to another student and she wished me. He wondered how I knew her, and on hearing that I didnt, he exclaimed, "Oh! I hope she doesnt think that you are my mother" and he went ahead to clarify this point to her. She said she wished me out of courtesy. I remarked to my friend, "I dont think anyone will think I am your mother, I am not that old." He paused a bit and retorted, "My mom looks younger than you".

That's when it hit me, age has finally caught up with me. I have started looking old. So time to hit gym and beauty parlours!!!!!

Trip to Ahobilam

Weekend, we made an impromptu trip to Ahobilam. It is about 350kms from Hyderabad and we went by road along with another couple. We started around 4pm on Fri and reached Ahobilam about 10:30pm. Stopping on the way at Nandyala for dinner. The road was good except for a patch between Kurnool and Allagadda, where construction work was going on.

A bit about background of Ahobilam. It is temple dedicated to Lord Narasimha Swamy. There is a place where Lord came out of the pillar to kill Hriranyakashipa. After killing still in the ugra roopa, he is said to have roamed around the forest of Nallamalai, resting on and off. There are 9 places he is supposed to have taken rest, hence we have 9 temples in the vicinity. Each is supposed to be for one planetary position. These are on hills and around the upper Ahobilam. There is one temple at the foothills, called lower Ahobilam, said to be installed by Lord Venkateswara when he came to seek Lord Narasimha Swamy's blessings for his wedding.

Saturday morning, we got up early and visited Lower Ahobilam at around 6:30am, that is when the temple is opened. They bring a cow and calf to have the first darshan of the swamy and then it is open to public. Then we had breakfast, hired a guide and started off for the upper temples about 8am.

Reached Upper Ahobilam by car and had darshan and started trekking for the other temples. The road leading to other temples is not properly marked hence the need for a guide. We need to climb steps, walk up inclines and cross streams to reach these temples. We were lucky that it rained the night before, else the hear would have been untolerable. It was fortunate that it didnt rain heavily nor did it rain while we were trekking, as that would have made the path slippery and difficult to climb. We visited Jwala, Varaha, Malola, and Karanja Narasimha Swamy's in that order. We must have climbed about 1000 steps and covered about 10kms. The other two temples Yogananda and Chatravata, were on level with Upper Ahobilam and could be reached by car. We finished the seven temples by 12pm. Had lunch and took some rest before starting for the other two.

If the morning part was test to the leg power, the later was bone-breaking. There is no proper path to reach the other two temples and has to be done by a jeep ride. The jeep ride was no less that a roller coaster ride. We were not sure if the driver was in control of the vehicle or the vehicle was having a mind of its own. The steering was not helping a bit, or so we felt. We visited Bhargava and Pavana Narasimha Swamy temples this way and by the end of it, I had lost the coordinates of my body and was feeling all wobbly.

But it was all worth the effort. Lovely scenery, beautiful and peaceful location, nice temples. Monkey were abound, there was a party whose purse and camera was snatched!!!!! Luckily they recovered it by offering coconut pieces.

Time to return home. We started around 6pm and reached home midnight, after having dinner on the way.

click here for photos

Teaching the Teachers

Last couple of days has been a unique experience for me. I have been asked to co-ordinate a workshop. The workshop is being conducted by IIT-Bombay and is streamed to 100+ centres, there are around 9,000 faculty members attending it remotely. Technology is amazing isn't it. There have been a few glitches along the way some frustrating, some amusing. I wish to share it with you. In the remote chance of any of the attendee reading this, it is a figment of imagination, any resemblance to any person dead or alive is purely coincidental.

As long as the speaker is speaking everything is fine, participants listen (or sleep), do whatever they want to do. It is when the speaker wants to make it interactive the fun starts. There are centres with quality equipment and there are no issues there. It is with centres with lesser bandwidth that things go all wrong. The remote centre starts with hello, hello, hello; can you hear me......Result waste of time. Then there is the issue of time lag. The remote centre waits for answer and thinking the speaker didn't hear them starts repeating the question. At the same time speaker starts with the reply. So the result we get to hear question-and-answer simultaneously. Or the remote centre does not switch their mic off, resulting in an echo of the speaker's answer.

Now coming to the title of this blog, I will relate my experiences here with our participants. They are faculty members. Handling them is more difficult than handling students. We need to conduct some activity sessions, interact with them and try to get their opinion on the sessions being conducted and the topics being covered. They all want to speak, no compromises there. And most of the times, they go on parallel tracks. We discuss politics, how it is ruining their chances of research. One person starts on it and another starts off with some other aspect totally unrelated. I had lots of trouble trying to get the discussion back on track, without offending them. I couldn't yell, shut up and listen to me!!!!!!! It is fun, a new experience and at times frustrating, too.

Corruption

Kiran Bedi called Hyderabad the corruption capital. Not very surprising for those staying here. We are quick to blame the government for the state of affairs. But how far are we, as citizens, responsible for this state of affairs? It may be a case of egg first or chicken first, but definitely we encourage corruption, even if in small ways. Let me elaborate.

We pay tips to servants, over and above the salary, so they do our work willingly. Auto drivers ask for extra, we oblige in exchange for the service they are providing us. You may say these are minor things. Well it starts that way. Next we are paying the auto driver extra to carry additional passenger. Next we raise a hue and cry as to how government is looking the other way when autos are crammed with school children.

We go for a movie and the booking is closed. There is a guy there offering ticket for a slightly hiked price. Or better still, we watch the movie at home renting a CD/DVD one day after the release of the movie and cry foul about piracy.

We visit a doctor, there are others waiting but we slip a note to the attendant and get past the queue. Is it not bribing?

We have a stortage of water at home and call for a water tanker. There is a waiting period, we are not willing to wait, so we beg the driver to divert some water to our house. Then we raise a hue and cry over water being sold in black. Did we not trigger off that situation?

We blatantly flout traffic rules and when the cop catches us, we grease his palm and escape. Then we bemoan the traffic situation and inefficiency of the cops in handling the situation.

The hand that gives bribe is as guilty as the hand that takes. Remember the economics theory of demand and supply (I am twisting it to suite my point). As long as there are people willing to pay extra, there will be people expecting extra. And it is a chain reaction. One pays extra and has to take it from some other place to compensate for it. So stop bribing, it will take time but have patience. That is the only way to set things right, in my opinion.

Unsung Heroes

Yesterday I made coconut chutney, yeah, yeah, in the world of cholesterol and stuff I am still bold or foolish in that sense. It came out quite well, if I may say so myself. I tasted it and said to myself "hats off to the person who invented this dish". Then I realised I have no clue as to who invented that stuff, and many other that we take for granted.

So this blog I would like to list out all the things we should be thankful for but dont know to whom:

- Cooking, imagine life before people realised that food could be cooked? Eating raw vegetables.... bet no one was obese then.... And it is not just cooking, mixing of ingredients. That we can extract juice from tamarind, and we get rasam, sambhar and the yummy pulihora. That we can prepare tea from tea leaves, the list goes on and on and on.....

- Clothing, whoever got the idea to cover oneself, the less said the better.....

- House, shelter over your head in this heat, coming rains and cold winters

- Bathing, imagine the stink we would have created

- Talking, imagine trying to communicate using sign language, the deafening silence all around.....

- Script, what other way to pass our legacy along without written words....

I have run out of things to say, can you add to the list?

Woes of Entrance Exams

Lately, papers have been filled with news about the single entrance exam for admission into engineering and medical colleges. There has been a lot been said about whether it is good or bad. To the uninitiated, once a child completes his 12th or +two, they need to write a bunch of exams to get admitted into eng or med colleges across the country. There are various types of these colleges - state, nation and again at national level there are premium institutes and the not so premium. Forget about the choice available to the student, the selection pattern for each of these colleges is different resulting in myriad of exams, interviews, applications etc.. Those in-charge of higher education woke up to this situation and decided that it was high time the entire process be streamlined and came up with a single-exam format, which they claim will simplify the process and ease burden on the students.

While their claim needs to be proven, the thought that comes to mind is why did these exams come into existence in the first place. Students after spending 17 years realise that the education they got (or supposed to have got) is of no use. In order to pursue their line of interest (or their parents' line of interest) they need to appear for some additional tests. And these tests, neither in format nor content, donot resemble anything they have been used to in the past 17 years. So in effect they have wasted 17 years of their life. What do they do? Enrol into an institute that guarantees admission into your dream institute. These institutes are very smart. Initially, it was for the two years leading to the tests. Then they said, it is not enough. Competition has increased and you need to be prepared and need to start early - "early bird catches the worm". So now it is anywhere from 6 to 2 years of coaching. True, competition is on the rise, so is the admission to these coaching institutes. What to do? Entrance exams for admission to coaching institutes. Again, coaching classes for that, you need to start early, you see. So end result better start coaching from class I itself.

Is having a single test going to solve the problem? The educators are missing main point I feel. All these additional testing is coming from the fact that our schools are not efficient. If the schools do their job correctly, why would these so called premium institutes need to have additional screening process? Marks from the 12th class would suffice, to gain admission. So why are the schools failing? No one is paying attention to them. Framing syllabus is not enough, there should be some form of check to see if these syllabi are getting implemented. With the rise in high-paying jobs, the quality of teachers is falling. There is a low opinion of teaching profession. It is highly discouraged and is seen as the last resort by graduates. Lack of quality teachers is root of the problem, with low salaries and no encouragement from peers, is having a resounding effect on our education system. We need dedicated and well-qualified teachers, who can inspire students and guide them on proper path. Only when this scenario changes can any other measure work.

Technology and trust issues

A news article caught my attention. Wife was seeking divorce from her husband of two months. Reason - he didnt update his FB status from single to married. Husband says he was busy with wedding, hence didnt get time to update the status. That reminded me of an ad on TV, a guy is getting married and his boss calls up on his mobile and wants to talk about work.

What do these two have in common, you ask. Well, to me both are depicting the ill-effects of technology in our lives. We welcome technology with the hope that it would improve our lives and make it easier for us. But it doesnt always work that way. With the advent of mobile phones, communication improved a lot. But at the same time, it has made us easily accessible. We can not take the call, but with mobiles you are obligated to return the call. No longer do we have the excuse of we didnt get the call or I didnt know it was you. Caller id has taken care of that. So if your boss calls you in the middle of the night you have to take it. The office gives you a laptop and blackberry, you are happy, company is taking good care of you. Downside, you are on call 24x7, 365 days.

Now coming to the personal front. No privacy. I know there shouldnt be any secrets between husband and wife, but in reality it doesnt work that way. I dont want to tell my husband all that I share with my girlfriends. And I am happy not knowing few things from his end. We have a very healthy recipe, whether you agree or not. He doesnt peek into my cell, my sms, my emails and I dont either. You call your spouse and dont get any response, you jump to the wrong conclusions. You harass them to death about it. I think that borders on trust issue also. Why are we so insecure? Give your spouse some benefit of doubt. In this 21st century, we keep seeing co-ed groups. So the assumption that a girl and a guy cant be friends is outdated. Friendship is no longer gender-specific, even it has become blind like love. Deal with it and let the poor spouse of yours live peacefully.

Post-painting

Now that painting work is done, house looks great, as good as new. Got the floor polished, too. 

Painting work though painful, has its plus points too, I realised. Apart from the obvious that your house looks good after all the effort. House gets cleaned. By pulling the furniture away from the walls, all the dust and dirt that got accumulated behind them can be cleared off. Especially, if you have heavy furniture like ours, which cant be moved around easily (a tip to those buying furniture, buy light-weight easy-to-move furniture). Also all the junk that got accumulated over the years can be thrown away. I always prided myself of not hoarding junk, but realised we too have junk at home. One shelf had paper dated March 2009, imagine I didnt clean up that cupboard for the past three years!

Second, while the workers are around, our craving to snack and munch between meals comes down. Eating becomes a chore and with all the dust and paint smell, all appetite disappears. Nice way to loose weight if you ask me. Once I dig up my weighing machine, I will let you know what exactly is my weight loss.

One tends to finish all household chores before the workers come, so the entire day is left free. So I could catch up with all pending paper-work, reading, etc., anything that needs one to sit in one place and hours of dedication.

Then nothing to beat the sympathy of all around. My God, how long it is taking, seeing you I am feeling tired, I wonder how you are managing. Best was my maid, how are you managing to cook, no one else had that doubt!

I have taken a vow to keep house in this form forever, wont shirk from cleaning and dusting tasks. I know what most of you are thinking - New Year Resolutions.......

Tryst with Painters

After postponing it for two years now, this year we decided to plunge into the treacherous ordeal of getting our apartment painted. Ours is a 11yr old apartment complex and we bought this flat at the end of 2004. The seller obviously painted the house before putting it up for sale. He used pastel colors, which tend to show dirt more, I feel. So the area around the switchboards and the like were the first casualties. We ignored. Then it crept to around the tubelights and the like, still ignored. Now we could no longer ignore. People visiting our flat, started leading the conversation to painting and other interior decorator topics, looking at our walls pointedly. We decided it was time to act.

A lot of survey was done, mostly because we were so apprehensive about the humongous task in front of us. Quite a few people we knew had recently painted their houses, so there were no dearth of suggestions. Which confused us all the more. Each one of them vowed that their experience had been the best and easiest. We decided to take a call after getting quotations from all the concerned options. One question that stumped us was what is the paint-able area. Now we had a bunch of numbers - carpet-area, super-plinth-area, built-up-area; but how do we get this paint-able area? We struggled with the blueprint of our apartment and an excel spreadsheet and after a lot of struggle came up with a value. There was on-line help which calculated the paint-able area to be roughly 4 times the carpet area, we were not wholly convinced of that, though.

First to walk in was a contract painter, he looked too flashy to be a painter. He walked around and pronounced a nice fat figure and said it would take 3-4 weeks. I said forget it, I am not going to babysit your painters for such a long time. Again got varied opinions, "that's too long"; "that's ideal time it takes" and the best "at least he is honest, many will say one week but will eventually take that much time". Then came the company painter. He looked around and gave an astronomical figure. Turns out his calculation of paint-able area was double that of ours. He assured us once we agree to go with them he would get us a nice discount. But discount was not what we wanted but an honest evaluation, somehow their approach put me off. Then came a guy from MP. He said he would do it in a week (7 days to be exact), very reasonable price (felt like a steal actually), but we needed to get the material. The friend who suggested him, swore to his workmanship and his dedication. But running around for material was not our cup of tea. Another contractor, said one week, very reasonable and very mild mannered. We fell for him.

The paints were selected, advance paid and work started. Slowly and quietly he started. Madam, your floor looks a bit dull, even though we promised to clean it up, it might be worth considering polishing it. It will shine as new and will hardly take couple of days. I was tempted. Next, my estimate was based on the assumption that you would use same color throughout the house, now we are using four different colors, but I wont ask for more since I agreed upon the rate, it is upto you in the end, if you are happy with our work........ Next, madam your doors, though they look fine now, after getting the walls painted they will appear dull, better get them polished. Next it was window grills. Looks like we are getting a new house after all. Cost, well it is bound to go up as will the estimated date of completion. The other day some one queried about the estimate, my husband responded with when - prior to start of work, while the work is going on or once the work is completed?

Meanwhile, it is me sitting in a lone chair, preserved for my usage, in a corner, away from the workers way, with dust all around me....... I wish I had taken up my brother's suggestion seriously and shifted out of the house while the work was going on, you see they do that in US given the "toxicity of paint fumes". Of course, there most of the times it is DIY, instead of going with professional painters. It is a week now and looks like another week to go, in meantime if you see me some place (highly unlikely since I am stuck in the house till work completes) do not comment upon my dirty unkempt hair or patches of paint/dirt on my dress, unless you don't  want to return home that day!!!!!!

Summer - Season of Mangoes and Pickles

Summer had a special attraction for us growing up. It meant visit to grandparents' place, where we could meet all our cousins and generally have fun. I don't know what the temperatures were at that time, but it never hampered us from having some fun. Might be we were more tolerant or global warming is really playing a havoc now.

Apart from all the playing and fun, food was something to look forward to, the solid and tasty curd, the special taste of grandma's cooking (not that my mom was a bad cook). And more importantly mangoes. So many varieties and in so many forms. My grandparents had 4 mango trees at home, all of different varieties. So we would start off plucking the small mangoes, pindelu, and just pop them into our mouths taking care to avoid the seed (jeedi). We would be caught and asked to keep off them, as they are "bad for your stomach" and wait till "they grow big they will be tastier". Then the raw mangoes, with salt and chilli; cooked with lentils (yummy, mamidikaya pappu); ground with coconut or yellow lentil (kobbari-mamidikaya pachadi, pesarapappu-mamidikaya pachadi); enough to give one a stomach ache. Not that we minded, after all grandfather had medicine for it. 

Then the pickles. It was a venture which would put the major industries to shame. The planning and effort that went into its execution. Chillies and mustard were to be ground, not using any appliance. Workers would come and use the mortar and pestle to grind them. Then came the men with long poles with a knife and net bag attached to their ends. This to pluck the mangoes from the trees without dropping them on the ground and damaging the fruit. We would all gather beneath the trees, try to spot and yell directions. Then comes the D-day. Grandmother would finish all her cooking early in the morning and would settle down with the workers, mangoes and other ingredients. And the work would start, it would be one week before we would be allowed to taste the pickles. Of course that wouldn't stop us from sneaking off with the dried and salted mango pieces. All the efforts finally pay off, when everyone tastes and praises the pickles, and grandmother packs them into bottles (no vacuum sealing then) for each of her children families.

Then of course the ripe mangoes. Mangoes would have to be ripened by putting them in a dark, hot room on hay bed. Every meal time, grandfather would go to this room and examine the mangoes and pick the appropriate ones of our consumption for the day. He would pick one of us to accompany him and we would all wait with bated breath. It was such an honour to be picked. The mangoes again of various types: kothapally kobbari with all the fibre to keep you busy after eating - picking your teeth for hours; cheruku rasalu with all the sweet and sumptuous flesh; and of course banginapally which had to be cut and eaten. Fights would be on for the seed, which could be slurped for hours on end, of course if cut by grandmother. If grandfather cut it then no one wanted the seed as he would cut it cleanly without any flesh left. After few days, we would be treated with mango juice in the evenings. We relished it till we saw grandmother make it. She would take the overripe and rotten mangoes and make juice from the unspoiled portion. That was goodbye to juice from us. She would also make mango cakes (thandra), layers of mango juice sun-dried.

Now that we are all grown up, we keep wondering how my grandmother managed all this in the hot summers, with no AC and only fans, if electricity permitted. And we miss all the fun, too. With apartments replacing independent homes, there is no room for trees at home. With Swagruha and other places boasting of home-made pickles, it is an easy way out for the fast-paced time-stressed current generation. And also with the increased awareness of cholesterol and other "eat healthy food" fads, no one is keen on these summer time binges. But ahhhh, those good old days.

UK - Travelogue - Switzerland

An European experience wouldn’t have been complete without Switzerland, and expensive though the guided tour was, Switzerland is definitely worth a look. We goofed up in planning for the trip, for the tour was to begin and end in Switzerland but on two separate days we were to transit through Italy, which required that we obtain a double entry visa to Italy and a triple entry for Switzerland. But it was too late when we realised that we had only a single entry Swiss visa. So we had to miss out on two days of Italy in spite of having entry visas.

The scenic beauty of Switzerland cannot be described in words. The snowcapped mountains, the lakes, rivers - everything is simply superb. Weather is unpredicatable. We were told that the only way of predicting the weather was by looking at the cows. If they were standing and grazing, it was going to be a clear day. So most of the time we were goading the cows to stand up and be more active! Part of the Swiss ambience is the cow - bells! Whenever we passed the pastures, we could hear the pleasant sound of the tinkering bells.

We travelled extensively in Switzerland and saw places such as Appenzel, Vaduz and the Rhine valley which is famous for its ski-resorts. As a result of our visa goof-up we had to take a detour by bus and train through the countryside. We passed through villages and small towns. It was amazing the way the driver of the bus knew most of the residents on the way. He kept greeting them by names. We joined rest of the tour at Lugano. We had a ride in funicular (railway) up the mountain and had a nice view of the city by the night.

We also travelled by the Glacier Express - which is the slowest express train in the world - from Lugano to Visp which was a nice and quiet city! The city starts from right next to the tracks and so there is no exit in the station. We just crossed the tracks and were in the hotel. It is the starting point for the hikes going up the Alps.

On the way to Berne, the Swiss Capital we visited a cheese factory in Gruyeres. Berne is a city with narrow roads and is filled with people. After seeing the Parliament house and other interesting things, we proceeded to Lucerne. Lucerne has the only war memorial of neutral Switzerland - the dying lion. Nearby was the glacier garden and hall of mirrors. From there went to Peak Titlis - partly by cable car and then by rotair. Rotair is a revolving gandola or cable car - one of its kind in the world. There is an ice grott -long tunnel made of ice. The peak was covered with snow, with plastic sledges put up on the glacier slopes for sliding down.

Next we came to Zurich and roamed around. We saw the famous Swiss banks; Parade Platz, the city centre and St. Peterhof which boasts of the largest clock face of Europe. Zurich is divided by a river, Limmat, and there are two churches, Fraumunster and Grossmunster on either bank of the river overlooking each other.

Then it was time to return to London.

UK Travelogue Europe

London and its surroundings over, our next destination was Europe, across the Channel.

Our first stop was Amsterdam in Netherlands on a guided tour. We reached Dover and were put on a ferry. Crossing the English Channel took half an hour. From Calais on the other side, we went by coach. Amsterdam is a very beautiful city with people roaming around freely. Late in the night we went on a cruise in the canals of Amsterdam a candlelit cruise with cheese and wine served. The cruise passed through the red light area which is legalised but no photography is allowed. We were taken to Volendam where we tasted the famous delicacy of Netherlands - apple pie with really yummy cream. The next stop was the famous Tulip garden - Kokenhof garden, an immensely breathtaking vista, with rows and rows of colourful tulips just like we see in the movies. We also visited a farm where cheese making process was shown to us. Netherlands is a country of canals and windmills. We came across many of them on the way. Another thing which caught our fancy was the airport. There, the runway for the planes is above the motorway - like an overbridge. So when we were passing under it, a plane taxied over our heads.

Next, we visited Delft, where the royal family used to stay and then onto Brugges in Belgium. It is a medieval city and care is taken to retain the medieval appearance of all the buildings. For example, we saw a bridge which was built 400 years ago and is still in use. Then after one more canal cruise we headed for home with wonderful memories of the beautiful tulips.

Our next trip was to Paris but the weather unfortunately, was a big let down. It was raining throughout. We went by the Eurostar, the train which goes through the famous Channel Tunnel under the English Channel. The journey took three hours. First we went to the Euro Disney, an amusement park on the lines of Disneyland with a number of fun rides - like the Space Mountain where all the rides were in the dark. Then there is the Fantasyland - with the Palace of the Sleeping Beauty, Alice’s Wonderland, Alladin’s Wonder Lamp and lots of other things. There is also a “It’s a Small World” which had the dolls in the outfits of almost all the countries. It looked really like a fantasyland - straight out of my childhood fantasies. We climbed the Eiffel Tower and had a boat cruise along the Seine river. Next day, we went to Versailles, the royal palace. We had a trip around the palace and visited the gardens attached to it. They are beautiful but nothing when compared to our Brindavan Gardens. Our visit to the Louvre Museum to see the famous Mona Lisa however turned out to be a non-starter, the museum was closed on that particular day. We walked down from Louvre to Arc de Triumph along the famous Champ de Elysees, a wide road bristling with shops and shoppers. The thing we remember most about Paris are the long queues everywhere. Also, it seemed to be full of tourists everywhere and no one else. We could not find any person who looked as if he lived there. So that was Paris!

UK-Travelogue-2

Well it was Scotland next - the land of Lochs(Lakes), Glens (valleys) and Bens (Mountains). We were lucky to have great weather. Quite unbelievably it did not rain for all the five days we were there. Scotland has lovely scenery and the Scots are justifiably proud of their heritage.

We reached Edinburgh and from there, off to the Isle of Skye through various famous valleys and lakes - past Stirling Castle, cities of Dounne and Callandar, through Glencoe and Fort William. Isle of Skye is one of the largest islands to the west of Scotland. It is very sparsely populated with isolated houses once in 30 metres of drive. The houses are old constructions with no windows. In winter, to keep the cold off, the people sleep with the cattle inside! On our return journey we saw the Eileen Donan castle, Loch Ness, the city of Fort Augustus and Glen Nevis, where the movies Braveheart, Rob Roy and Highlander were shot. William Wallace, Rob Roy are the famous heroes of Scotland and by the end of the trip we had, by heart, their life histories.

Next day we went off for a trip of Loch Lemond, Stirling Castle and Trossachs. There is the palace of Linlithgow where Mary, the Queen of Scots was born. The Edinburgh castle is where Mary, Queen of Scots spent most of her life and gave birth to James-I, the first Scottish King of English. The crown jewels of Scotland are kept here along with the scone. There is the Military Museum, where some items are related to Indian Mutiny.

In the city of Edinburgh, there is the Camera Obscura with a mirror mounted on the top. By changing the position of the mirror one can see the image of the entire city on a round wooden table in a dark room behind. There is also a Holography section which distorts the 3-D pictures displayed in various glass enclosures and is fun to watch. Then there is the Nelson Column with 150 steps climbing which we can get a glimpse of the whole city; and the Royal Scotland Museum which is huge and very interesting.

The thing I remember most vividly about our trip was the amount of walking we did in those five days. The guide of our trip was this very energetic and enthusiastic person who would jump off the bus and ask us to join him. He would make us walk the next few miles before rejoining the bus. By the end of the day we used to be so tired, that was the first time I realised the benefits of a hot bath......

Travelogue - UK - 1

Travel bug was injected into my system at a very early age. Transfers were part and parcel of my father's job and he never missed an opportunity to visit new places. And being a family man, we always travelled with him. Since my birth we shifted from Bombay, Hyderabad, Chandigarh, Bhubaneswar, Guwahati, Hyderabad and back to Mumbai. And we never failed to visit all places of interest in and around the place of stay.

After marriage, I managed to pass the bug to my husband. Willingly or unwillingly he obliged to my demands for travelling and visiting new places. Here I would like to share some of our experiences. As is evident in the title, there are many such anecdotes I would like to share and instead of boring you with one long monologue, I will serve it bits and pieces.

First stop UK, London. London is a nice place except for the weather. For a major part of the year, it is very chilly and windy. Whenever the mercury touches 20 degree C, it is considered to be hot and people used to remark that it must be like back in India. When I tell them that it was very pleasant compared to the normal temperatures in India, they would be surprised and wondered how we could work in those conditions!

Much more to come later.....

I longed to see the Buckingham Palace but it does not look like a palace at all. Of course, our image of a palace is conditioned by the many Indian palaces we got to see with lavish lawns, spacious durbar halls, intricate carvings etc. The Palace is open to visitors from July to September when the Queen takes up her summer residence at Windsor. The interiors are rearranged to facilitate visitor movement. But all we got to see are the state rooms only - the personal quarters are off limits. Other interesting places in London are - Trafalgar Square with Nelson’s Column and pigeons all over. Big Ben (not so big) Westminster abbey (that was beautiful), London Bridge over River Thames (it was too good for words) and Hyde Park.

Our next stop was at Greenwich to see the Royal Observatory, with all its old time telescopes and other machines and the Royal Maritime Museum, where we got a hands-on-experience of how it feels to be inside a submarine. There were computer simulated fights where one could give orders to fire and all that stuff. I still remember the big expanse of green and the loitering one can do there. Of course this was before millennium, when all the rides and other stuff got installed. 

Me and My Maidservant

The other day an advertisement on TV caught my attention. About business ideas or was it domain names? Anyway, this lady was conducting training course for maidservants. The highlight was they were being taught how to excuse themselves from work, amusing, but how true when it comes to leave-taking-excuses all maids have the same excuse.

For every housewife in India, maidservant is a hot topic of discussion. Our day begins with the thoughts will she come today? If she does come, will she be in a mood to do some extra work or will she abstain from the regular duties. We all tread very carefully around her, not to offend her. We think twice before saying anything. My mil greets hers with a hot cup of coffee. My mom, and many others I know, has two maids, so one covers for the other in case of leaves. One lady pitches in doing one of the maid's chore, in case she needs any extra work to be done. Gone are the days you deduct from salary in case of absence. I know of a lady who refused to grant leave to her maid, result? The maid quit, of course, do we have any say in it? In Mumbai, the servants talk not only about salary, but also number of leaves per month and diwali bonus. One of my maids used to crib that I dont cook at home during festivals (we go either to my in-laws or parents place), she doesnt get any pindi vantalu. I made it a point to get something for her on those special days. She also had well-manicured nails, I always wondered how she managed. Well her work spoke of it, if you get my drift.

My experience with my current maid is unique. She has been working for me for past 6 yrs, a record as far as I know in my circle. She is very hard-working, loyal and a conscientious worker, who hardly takes a day off. She is very flexible and doesnt mind any extra work. Doesnt ask for anything extra either. I should be happy, you say? Well, while I am glad that she is sincere and loyal, her conscience is too much for me to handle. Some days, I will be busy with something else and I ask her to skip mopping, she compensates by washing the balcony with extra care. End result, I have not saved any time. When we come back from a vacation, she sweeps and mops with extra care and takes ages to complete the task, result I end up waiting for her to leave to take rest after a tiring journey home. She mops the floor, especially the frequently used areas, at least twice (hubby says three to four times) which sometimes becomes tiring to watch. Of course, I do have a neat and shining floor, as is my kitchen. She doesnt talk much, no gossip for her. So end result I am always the last one to know of the happenings in our building. She has her quirks, though. Everything has to be jumbo size for her. She wants a big scrubber, big bucket, big broom etc.. She is very brand specific - only Pril, Lysol and Harpic for her. No other product will do. Given the end-product I dont mind either.

Coming from US, I found it difficult to adjust to concept of servants. Once there, I got used to being independent, doing chores whenever I was free. Now, my day has to be planned around her timings. I have to ensure that I am home when she is expected, else mess everything up. Of course the timing is not accurate, it is literally any time in a 2hr framework, if I am lucky. Sometimes I get vexed with this dependency and am tempted to be independent but not courageous enough to take that step. To tweak a well-known saying, "Maids - cant live with them, cant live without them"

Prejudices

The other day we met a friend, she was meeting my husband after a long time. She asked whether I cook well, I am sure she asked casually and it was an idle chit-chat. But it triggered a series of thoughts. We are all prejudiced and tend to type cast people.
I remember when I was newly married, an elderly lady at my inlaws asked my husband if I cooked at home. After getting an answer in affirmation, she probed further "does she cook onions", a big taboo in her kitchen. My husband retorted with "she will if I ask her to". I didnt know to respond. More recently a neighbor asked what was cooking in our kitchen, it was bitter gourd. She gave her approval only after confirming that my husband does indeed like bitter gourd. Even now I am not sure how to respond. A woman is supposed to cook and that too only what her husband likes????

Prejudice is deep set in our minds, be it domestic situation, fashion statement or dress sense. We always judge people by their gender, appearance. Their behavior comes last. I am not saying it is right or wrong. I do it all the time. I want to ask for directions, I pick a decently dressed, preferably female but for most instances an auto wallah or chai baddi wallah will be of better help. I see a person with unkempt hair, I assume they are highly disorganised. We see a man struggling with his kids we are all sympathetic and look around for the mother. At the same time we see a woman struggling with her kids, we doubt her parenting skills. Our reaction is just the opposite if instead of kids they are struggling with their vehicles.
What is the root of this prejudice? Are we justified in behaving this way? How many times have we fallen into this prejudice trap only to be proved wrong?

Tech-savvy Senior Citizens

When Dad retired, we were a bit worried as to how he will react to all that free time. Its been a while and we are yet to hear of him getting bored. The thing that keeps him and my mom occupied is technology. They are hooked on to TV, watching serials which I pity them for, but they seem happy. The other thing is computer. Their (or rather my mom's) tryst with computer began with emails, their way of keeping in touch with me and my brother in US. Then they upgraded to chat, video conferences and Skype. Then to online banking and other transactions. Now it is their yahoo group.

Couple of years ago my mom and her siblings started yahoo group. We gave them 6 months, max, and by then we were sure their interest would wane off and it would be long forgotten. With 68,000 messages in 4yrs they are still going strong. What do they do? They keep in touch with everyone, forward inspirational messages and interesting news bites, conduct online quizzes, share songs and videos over youtube, you name it and they have done it. It is really heartening to see their commitment to it. They log on twice or thrice in day, it is part of their routine now. One of my uncle is an expert net-surfer, he gathers all these interesting sites and shares them. He keeps uploading these wonderful images and links to cool websites.  One of my Aunt has become a writer, she writes stories in Telugu and sends it to the group in a serial format. For those who cant read Telugu there is an audio file. Recently she expanded her horizon to blog. My mom posts her stories. Then there are poetry and prose competitions. Come festival and there is a culture enlightenment for our generation. They share pictures of gatherings, they share travel news. It is amazing how much one gets to know in this group. Their common bond, apart being same family, is love for Telugu music. Song clips and links are regular features here.

It is not just them. I see all around me senior citizens being net-savvy. What started from a desire to keep in touch with children and grandchildren has turned into an hobby. My father-in-law is active in LinkedIn, he always keeps himself up-to-date with technology. He has dual-sim gsm phone and is planning on getting himself a notebook. My mother-in-law has iPhone, of course she likes playing games on it, she hates smart phones. My mom has iPad. Sometimes I feel like I am from their previous generation, with me harping about my desktop, landline and radio!!!!!

Hats off to them.

Top Three Songs

Movies and songs have always been a part of my life, just like books. At home, when all gather, inevitably the topic of movies and songs comes up. I have always leaned towards songs than movies; especially songs with good lyrics. For me more than the music, good lyrics matter. Sometime back we were listing out our favorite songs from movies. Listing out the top three songs, based upon their lyrics along with the best part of the song. This was my list, thought would share with all. Of coure, all are hindi songs, since I relate to them more than telugu (mother toungue):

1. Zindagi ka safar hai yeh kaisa safar - 

      movie: Safar, 

      singer: Kishore Kumar, 

      lyrics: Indivar
what i like most about this song, everything lyrics, music, singing, picturisation etc. etc. This song basically gives the philosophy of life in a nutshell.

favorite bits:

Rote Rote Zamaane Mein Aaye Magar
Hanste Hanste Zamaane Se Jaaenge Ham - loosely translated we arrive in this world crying but promise to leave it smiling

Phool Aise Bhi Hain Jo Khile Hi Nahin
Jinko Khilne Se Pehle Fiza Kha Gai - there are less fortunate than us so be grateful with what we have in our lives

2. Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwah toh nahi - 

     Movie: Andhi, 

     Singers: Kishore&Lata, 

     Lyrics: Gulzar
Sanjeev Kumar at his best, with unbeatable Gulzar's lyrics.
There are no complaints with life without you but life without you is no life at all. What else can we say after this, apart from wah wah.

favorite bit: after that starting there cannot be anything else

Tum jo keh do toh aaj ki raat chand dubega nahin, raat ko rok lo
Raat baath hai aur zindagi baki toh nahin 

This should be understood in context, hero & heroine are meeting after 14yrs and can spend only few moments together. Hero promises her not to let these moments end and at the same time understands that we cant do that with life.

3. Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho - 

     Movie: Arth, 

     Singer: Jagjit Singh, 

     Lyrics: Gulzar
We all have experienced this, smiling at the face of adversities.

favorite bit

Jin zakhmoN ko waqt bhar chala hai,
tum kyun unhe chhede ja rahe ho. 

We all tend to live in the past, reliving past in our minds and worrying and feeling the pain again and again. Instead let time heal the wounds and get on with life. Just like we delay healing of wounds by "kelukofying" (a Tinglish word i invented meaning the thing we do with a loose tooth, keep poking it) them, by reliving past we dont let the wound heal properly.

Polite Autowallah

Polite Hyderabadi Autowallah, no I am not talking about oxymorons. I really encountered such an entity. I was zapped and went through the rest of the day like a zombie. 

For those uninitiated, let me tell you about auto drivers of Hyderabad. They come in various flavours. But one attribute is common to all, they are masters of the world. They have a list of destinations they do not ply to and it is a long list, in short, they wont go where you want to go. Then their meter is always broken, so we have to haggle over the price. Even in the rare occasions when the meter is not broken, be assured it has been tampered with and it is rounded off to the nearest 5 or 10 rupees making it a round figure. Don't ever expect change from them. Once you board their auto, you are at their mercy, they have a preferred route and no amount of protest or cajoling makes them deviate from that set route. Then they zip through the traffic as if there are no other vehicles on the road except theirs. They are adept at taking u-turns where none exist, taking right turns where it is prohibited, going the wrong way in a one-way lane. The essence of auto drivers was captured very well in the bit in the movie "Kshanam Kshanam" where Sridevi is taken for a ride by the auto driver (RGV has this knack of placing tit-bits which make actors more from our world)

Coming back to my polite auto driver. This particular guy was very apologetic about not being able to take me to my destination. He had school kids to ferry and by the time he drops me and comes back it will be too late. He told all this without my asking and before I got into his auto. Now, I am sure auto-commuters of Hyderabad don't believe me but it is the truth.

This incident made a believer of me and there is hope for mankind.

To my Valentine

Yesterday being Valentine's Day, there was a lot of hoopla going around. I never understand these special days. My take for true love, everyday is a Valentine Day.

Anyway, this year I thought, since I am blogging, I will dedicate this blog to my Valentine. There were many things in the newspapers and on internet about how to dedicate your love this day. On thing caught my eye, things about your Valentine that drives you nuts. I thought I would come up with the list and see where it goes.

So here it goes, I hate it that:

• he loves me so much that he doesn't find anything wrong with whatever I do (except my driving, of course)
• he is so comfortable around me that he doesn't feel the need to dress up or follow basic etiquettes around me
• he asks what gift I want and I cant think of anything, since he has already got me everything I need
• he seems to know me better than myself
• when he is away I miss him, even though I am among my family and friends

 Happy Valentine's Day

Reading Books - a Lost Art

My idea of relaxation has always been in a reclining chair with a good book in hand. Any book would do, for that matter, and old hindi songs playing in the background. I am not much of a TV person, and find watching TV a bit of a strain. My favorite time to watch TV has been to remove monotony of some job like cutting veggies or ironing clothes. Apart from that not a TV buff.

Coming back to reading books, there have been many phases to it. Initially it had been comics, cartoons in magazines, then Enid Blytons, Nancy Drews, Hardy Boys, a very short phase of Mills n Boons (never got hooked onto those), then the fiction. Summer vacation at grandma's would mean visits to local libraries for Perry Mason's, James Hardley Chase. When we were in London and later US, got hooked onto public libraries. A great concept, wish it were implemented in India. Of course, all the while Mummy's home library was always open. I still find it hard to spend money on books, I always believe books should be recycled not stored in one place, they have to circulate.

My taste for books has always been influenced by people/situations around me. Initially it had been what was available at school library - that is where Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys came into picture. I still remember boys resenting my reading Hardy Boys. According to them it was guy stuff and Nancy Drew and Enid Blyton were girlie stuff. Perry Mason and Chase were based on the availability during the long summer vacations. Later in London, a friend introduced me to the Classics - Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, etc. etc. TV introduced me to Sherlock Holmes, Carl Sagal, Robert Ludlum(Jason Bourne) etc. (ok, TV is not that bad after all). Another friend introduced John Grisham; my sister-in-law to the world of Harry Potter and JRR Tolkien; my students to the world of Twilight and vampires; my husband to the world of Dilbert, Calvin and Hobbes; my brother to Superman, Spiderman, Asterix (he tried a lot with PGWodehouse, but somehow wasnt successful). Of course, first and foremost my parents for encouraging me to read. Never did I hear my parents object to any book I picked to read, even if it was beyond my age/understanding. 

Recently, Tintin movie was released. Everyone enjoyed it. I asked a few kids, who really enjoyed the movie, if they read the comics. No one had read it. In this age of video games, the reading is taking a back seat. It is done only for school books, nothing else is read. Books teach you so many things, first the language, then the art of communication, the art of peaceful enjoyment. The kids these days are missing so much. They get all information online. But is that sufficient? I am not a big fan of e-books but I would recommend them to kids who think computer to be everything. Anything to get them to read again. Oh the beauty of Amar Chitra Kathas, Twinkles, Chandamamas, I could go on and on and on........

NRI Parents

Disclaimer: this blog is not intended to offend any person, it is just a statement of facts, so kindly forgive me if i offend any one.

The other day a lady from our building was complaining. Her son and family were coming from US and she was having tough time making arrangements for them. She was in her early 60s and is not as active as she used to be. There were many demands from her son and grandchildren which she was not able to say no to, and she was not able to manage. "We make all arrangements for their stay, which is 2-4 weeks, they see all the arrangements and think that we are doing great. They don't understand what we go through before and after their visit. They don't realise how much rest we need after they leave and how many medicines we pop during their visit. Even if we tell them they don't believe, they think that we are saying to  pressurise them into coming back." Another lady was pacifying her saying it is only once a year that we have to bear this, anyway since we cant travel and visit them, we have to compromise. Another lady was saying we go there every year but now are not able to make the trip, but since we have green card we have to, once we get citizenship we will not go every year, only when we are not able to manage here on our own. (for those who are wondering, we stay in apartment where NRI sons bought flats for their parents' comfortable stay).

All this talk set me wondering. What is the solution to this situation? When they are young, parents encourage their children to go abroad - be it for higher studies or better career options. They go around telling all my son is going to US!!! Then 20-30yrs down the line, parents get old and are ready for retirement but there is no place to go and relax. They do go to US, but most are not able to adjust to the atmosphere there and get bored. They return to India but are not able to manage on their own. Then starts the badgering, when are you coming back? Children are in a dilemma, cant leave the luxuries nor ignore the parents. Some tough kids tell their parents outright, either you come here or don't complain. They are branded as bad. Is it right to ask the children to leave all the luxuries and come back to take care of their parents? Or is it correct in wanting the senior citizens to compromise at this age and shift their roots to US? Given the fact that children are not able to adjust at their age, even after spending 20yrs in India, how can parents adjust in a foreign land?

One of the NRI son's has started his own business and has an office in India, so he keeps coming to India once a month on official business and visits his parents, everyone is happy with that arrangement.

Another solution many are adopting. Living under the care of their daughters. Our Indian mentality, we encourage son to go abroad or far-away places, but daughter we hesitate marrying her off to a guy in the neighbouring city. So come old age, many are having arrangements with their daughters. Staying near to where daughter stays and taken care of by her. Three cheers to caring daughters!!!

Me and my mobile

My day starts with a milk delivery person or newspaper delivery person having the latest Tollywood song in full blast on his mobile, while completing his rounds. Next it is time for my dear dear neighbor to enter his balcony, which is adjoining our kitchen balcony, and talk or rather yell into his cell phone. I wouldnt mind except he speaks in Marwari and has some business-related boring conversation. My phone has been silent all along.

We go to a multiplex to watch a movie. Get into a lift, someone yelling into their phone, am in a lift, signal will be off for a few minutes will resume the conversation once out of the lift. God forbid he didnt get "idea", else no idea what we would have to endure. My phone has been silent all along.

Step out of the lift, everyone goes in different direction to answer/call on their mobile. My phone has been silent all along.

In the movie, someone's phone rings non-stop. Then the lady next to me has a long conversation on her cell. Interval time, no chit chat about the movie or anything else, everyone busy checking the status of their mobiles. Returning missed calls, answering messages and what not. My phone has been silent all along.

Dinner at restaurant, same scenario. Everyone busy with their cells. This place advertises wi-fi internet connection while you dine. My phone has been silent all along.

Go to see a doctor, here I am listing out my ailments and the doc is busy messaging someone. Even takes a call in between. My phone has been silent all along.

Children busy playing games in mobile, students updating their facebook, twitter accounts, parents catching up with everyone under sun at the same time driving, eating etc etc . My phone has been silent all along.

So what am I doing? Watching all this? I think my mobile is angry with me. It never rings, no messages come. Alas, it is one of those mobiles that thinks it is there only for emergencies. It doesnt realise that my life would come an end if it doesnt beep every second. Is it angry that we have a landline at home? How does one pacify cell phone and make it behave like a normal one?

Media and Insensitivity

Today headline news on front page in TOI caught my attention. It said "Insensitive Cops Upload Gory Accident on FB" and the ironic part, there was a picture underneath it. If cops were being insensitive, what about the newspaper? The article went on to say how traumatic it was to the parents to see it on FB but they wont be traumatized to see the picture on the front page of their daily?

The issue of media insensitivity has always been a debatable issue. Daily we see gory pictures in the newspapers, be it a train accident, or a bomb blast, or a murder. Where is the necessity to insert photographs? Isnt that a bit disturbing? Here we are with a cup of coffee opening the newspaper and then rush to throw up. I guess they are helping us detoxify & cleanse our bodies.

It's the same with TV news channels. They keep replaying the events again and again. At the time of actual event taking place, at one month anniversary, at every annual anniversary. Imagine the plight of the victims, they are trying to come out the trauma and they switch on the TV there it is being replayed again. Guess they are trying to steel our nerves, so we wont be traumatized by another accident.

The worst thing I feel is the pictures of innocent people being beaten up, with a caption saying the spectators didn't lift a finger to help the victim. Aren't the camera person, the news reporter, the news staff under any obligation to lift that finger? Aren't they human? Are channel TRPs much more important than humanity? What I would give to have the golden days back when news was telecast once or twice a day, a world without 24hr news channels to sensationalize every stupid thing happening in the world.

New Year Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

Well a new year has begun and after the celebrations and everything, the next thing is to take new year resolutions. Now why take a resolution to improve self on a particular day is beyond me. If one wants to improve upon self, isnt any day a good day to start? Who am i to argue with the ways of the world.

So keeping up with the tradition, past couple of years i did take some resolutions. I have been met with more disappointment and frustration than anything else. Obviously, I havent been able to keep my resolutions and this led to frustration as to the levels of will power I have apart from the disappointment of not meeting the goal.

Then dawned a realisation. Why try improve self? Instead why not be happy with who you are? Why cant my resolution be that I am content with life, everything is perfect? People might argue that that way one is not striving to better self and will be leading a sedentary lifestyle. Well I object. For one all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And secondly, what was Newton up to when the apple fell on his head? He was relaxing under an apple tree and being happy with life. What about when Archimedes ran around shouting Eureka? He was having a leisurely bath. So relaxation is important for great ideas to crop up.

So to this effect, I prepared a list. Actually multiple lists. First one contains all the good things in life, things I need to be happy about. So whenever I feel down or depressed I will go through this list. Next list is a bit difficult. I prepare lists for all the people in my life who irritate me at times, and then for each of the person I write down the good things they do. This way next time I get angry at them, I need to go through this list.

My new philosophy of life - it consists of glasses and jug. When we are born each of us has a set of glasses and a jug full of water. Glasses represent various aspects of our lives, like health, family, wealth etc. etc. Water denotes the levels of success in life. Water is poured into the glasses. The level of water in each glass denotes how much of each attribute you are given, ie amounts of health, wealth etc etc. The total amount of water is same for all, just the distribution differs. Some get more in one glass as compared to others, some glasses are empty so on and so forth. So if you compare yourself with others you will see that they might be having what you lack, but definitely you too have something that they lack. So concentrate on what you have rather than on what you lack. That makes all the difference.

Happy New Year again.......